Families Matter December 2004

 

Everyday Stress

I started this newsletter almost a year ago with ambitious plans to publish it monthly. But too much to do, too many deadlines and the everyday stress of work and home life derailed my good intentions. Reiny tells me that many of you really valued the several newsletters we managed to publish and she has inspired (or arm-twisted) me to resume.

Sobered by the fact that I didn't nearly keep up with my monthly publication schedule, I'm re-launching Families Matter with the tentative hope that Reiny can persuade (or bully) me into completing an issue on time every month---or at least every other month.

We welcome your ideas for newsletter articles. Please accept my warmest wishes, together with Reiny, Donna, Stefanie and Harry, for your peaceful enjoyment of the upcoming holidays.

 

 

 

Paying for Orthodontia

Orthodontia bills are part of the medical support obligations under child support orders. If you pay or receive child support and any of your children needs orthodontia, you should follow some fairly simple procedures to properly share those expenses.

All child support orders make the custodial parent responsible for the first $250 in uninsured medical expenses per year, per child. All child support orders also assign a percentage to each parent, based on the ratio of the parents' incomes, which sets each parent's obligation to pay a share of all uninsured medical expenses. Those expenses include orthodontia; they don't include chiropractic or counseling treatment unless specifically ordered by the court.

If your child's orthodontic services haven't yet started, you should work together with your co-parent to make sure you plan the course of treatment jointly. However, if a custodial parent starts a course of orthodontia without any notice to the secondary custodial parent, the court will still enforce the support order to collect a contribution from the secondary custodial parent. The only way for a secondary custodial parent to avoid paying for orthodontia is to prove that the child doesn't need the treatment. The only way to do that is through the testimony in court of an orthodontist who has found the treatment to be unnecessary. The likelihood of finding an orthodontist who will testify against the treatment of another orthodontist is pretty remote and the expenses associated with hiring an orthodontist as an expert witness are considerable.

When parents work together, often they can negotiate separate payment agreements with their orthodontist. Most orthodontists establish a flat fee at the outset for the total course of work to be done on the child. Most offer monthly payment plans. If your support order provides, for example, that Mother carries 26% of the uninsured medical expenses and Father carries 74%, Mother can contract to make an appropriate monthly payment of just her share and Father can do the same. One parent may prefer to pay his or her share in one up-front lump-sum payment. Parents must cooperate to exchange insurance coverage information so that the percentage or flat sum provided for in any available health insurance policy is properly accounted for.

 

 

 

Master's Hearings

When spouses can't settle their economic differences by entering into a Divorce Settlement Agreement, the only way to finalize their divorce and property distribution is through a Master's Hearing.

A Master's Hearing is like a trial---witnesses testify and documents are introduced into evidence. Witnesses sometimes include real estate appraisers and accountants; the parties themselves always testify as witnesses in order to inform the Master of their economic circumstances and the asset distribution each is requesting. Master's Hearings are also unlike trials since they don't involve juries or judges. The Master is a lawyer appointed by the court to serve as hearing officer, to preside over the hearing, and to make the initial decision on the distribution of assets and any award of alimony. On request of either party, the court will review the Master's decision; the court has the power to change the Master's decision and make a different distribution or different alimony award.

In Monroe County, the Court requires the party who requests the scheduling of the Master's Hearing to post $750 with the court. The $750 fee is fully refundable if the parties come to an agreement before the Master commences any work on the case. But once the Master begins his review of the file, usually considered to be at the time of the Pretrial Conference, the monies are no longer refundable even if the parties settle at the last minute prior to hearing.

 

 

 

Tax Planning

Now is the time to consult with your tax professional regarding your 2004 tax liabilities. Divorcing and separated individuals sometimes have complicated tax issues to resolve. It is generally better for a separated couple to file a joint tax return in order to minimize the total tax obligations owed by each. But before doing so the couple should reach a clear, written understanding about any refunds due or tax payments owed on the return. Don't wait until April to address these issues; make an appointment with your tax professional now to plan in advance. By doing so you will give us at Jane Maughan, P.C. enough time to help you negotiate with your spouse, if necessary, to agree on the best tax arrangements for both of you.

 

 

Holiday Stress

Shared custody adds stress to any family's planning. The increased stress and planning that is always a part of the holidays can put shared-custody families over the top of the stress charts. While there are no simple solutions to these dilemmas, the following tips may be of some help.

Look over your work and home calendars. Identify important events and any conflicts now. Is your son or daughter's school holiday concert the same evening as your office party or in conflict with your co-parent's weekly evening custody? Arrange for babysitters and discuss any custody schedule conflicts with the other parent now.

Compare calendars with your co-parent. It may be helpful for you, in making any last minute, spontaneous plans, to know of his or her holiday commitments in advance. Be sure to discuss the custody schedule--share your expectations of how your current custody order will apply to this holiday season. Don't let last minute confusion mar your children's special times.

Cooperate in a heroic fashion with your co-parent. Eliminate stress for your children. If at all possible, sit together at holiday school performances. A child who can look out from the stage and see two proud parents side-by-side is truly blessed by his or her parents' courage and self-control. Unless your spouse and children have fully accepted and welcomed your new romantic friend, attend your children's performances without him or her. While you may want to proudly show off your child's accomplishments to someone newly special to you, your family may have a more positive experience if these events are limited to family only.

Coordinate gift purchases. While the holidays shouldn't be all about presents, gift-giving is a worthwhile and memorable part of every culture's holiday celebrations. Rather than buying a better bike than the one your co-parent purchased, make your gift a different item. If your children have a step-parent in the other parent's household, see to it that you help them to recognize that step-parent with a gift at the holidays. While perhaps difficult, even very difficult, your obligation to help form your child's strength of character really requires that you put aside your own understandable resentments and lead your child in doing the right thing at the holidays.

Make new memories. Some of the hardest divorce experiences come at the holidays. No longer will the entire family be together. Custody orders usually alternate holidays and split the Christmas holiday in half. While abandoning old traditions always carries a sense of loss, new arrangements can quickly become happy and warm traditions. Don't complain to your children about what used to be; instead, go out of your way to introduce new and special appMaughanes to your new schedule.

Don't hesitate to ask for help. Turn to your most trusted friend or advisor, or schedule a counseling session now, before your counselor's book is full. Reach out for a supportive friend or professional--you're not alone. What we all truly value about the holidays is the joy we experience and the building of shared memories. By focusing on these values, you can reduce the stress of the holidays---even the additional stress that divorce and shared custody inevitably cause.

 

 

 

Common Law Marriage is Abolished

Pennsylvania has abolished common law marriage. Since common law marriage was one of the most misunderstood areas of Pennsylvania law, most lawyers breathed an enormous sigh of relief upon its demise.

Pennsylvania law never created or assumed a common law marriage to exist after a couple resided together for a period of time---7 years or 10 years. That kind of common law marriage is peculiar to the western states. Instead, Pennsylvania recognized a couple as legally married only if they "exchanged words of present intention" or vows. If a man and woman said "I am your husband" and "I am your wife" in this "exchange of words of present intention," they were presumed to be married at law, generally called a "common law marriage."

Who ever does that---exchanges words of present intention---outside an actual wedding ceremony? Just about no one does and so the Pennsylvania court opinions are clogged with legions of cases where the courts found that a couple who lived together for years were simply not married since they never exchanged the magic words.

The strange requirements of Pennsylvania law have their roots in the colonial times. In remote parts of the state in colonial times, ministers and judges just weren't available, even for years on end. Couples who wanted to be married were given the legal authority to marry themselves by exchanging vows.

In the somewhat wilder west, the laws responded instead to the tendency of men and women simply to take up housekeeping together, have children and never marry. The legislatures passed laws that simply declared such people to be married after a certain number of years so that the ownership and inheritance of property could be accomplished in an orderly fashion.