Families Matter May 2005

 

Summer’s Here

We hope all of you are looking forward to some time off and relaxation this summer. It’s not easy to find time for ourselves and we all know how much we do need it. Reiny, Harry, Donna, Stefanie and I all hope we are helping you in every way we can. Please continue to be patient with us -- sometimes it seems like the phone never stops ringing, the e mails are pouring in and the stack of mail and faxes is sometimes a foot high in one day. We do care about all of you and it’s our priority to help you as best we can.

At Jane Maughan, P.C. we will be on a slightly modified summer schedule by mid June. We’ll open earlier at 8:00 A.M. and close later at 5:30 P.M. from Monday through Thursday. And we’ll close at 1:00 P.M. on Fridays. Once school re opens, we’ll be back on our 8:30 A.M. to 5:00 P.M., Monday to Friday schedule.

 

 

 

Credit Card Debt and Divorce

Managing credit card debt during separation is an important part of divorce planning. The best way to start is to request a credit report from any one of the three reporting agencies: Equifax, (800) 685 1111 or www.equifax.com; Experian (formerly TRW), (888) 397 3742; www.experian.com; or Trans Union, (800) 888 4213; www.transunion.com. To secure a credit report, you must provide your full name and signature, social security number, date of birth, address for the past two years and telephone number. Under limited circumstances including financial distress or denials of credit, you may be entitled to a free copy of your report. Otherwise, the cost is generally about $10 per report—and all three credit reporting agencies now offer a “3 in One” report online—you pay about $35 and instantly get a consolidated, detailed report from all three (Experian, Equifax and TransUnion) on one report.

If requested very close to your date of separation, the credit report can serve as an excellent roadmap to your marital debt. Pennsylvania law provides that marital debt is any debt which arose during the marriage and was still unpaid at separation. The date of separation is the bulls eye date for setting the precise amount of your marital debt. Once you have separated, it’s important to keep post separation debt and marital debt separate. Open new credit cards. Or if you already have separate cards that carried zero balances at separation use them. But be sure to discontinue the use of any cards in joint names or any cards which carried balances at the date of separation.

If you can’t agree on a division of debt, the court will divide the marital debt between you and your spouse. Just because all the credit card debt is in one spouse’s name doesn’t mean that he or she will pay it all. The court will look at the reasons for the purchases and will focus on whether the debt arose from family needs. It will examine the ability of the parties to pay—what each of you earns. If you want to prove marital debt in court, you will have to have a history of credit card statements that include the detail on what was purchased. If you didn’t save your monthly statements, you may be able to retrieve the information online— many credit card companies provide transaction histories online.

Closing joint credit cards at separation is wise. No matter what the court decides, a creditor can institute collection procedures against either party on a joint card. If the court orders your spouse to pay a card off and he or she is slow to do so, the creditor is not limited in its rights to pursue collection from you. Finally, for those couples who can agree on a division of debt, the use of balance transfers is a quick and efficient means of dividing joint debt. To balance transfer joint debt, each party uses a card or cards in their separate name and each then balance transfers his or her share of the joint debt onto the new cards. This can be done by phone or online. Once all joint debt is satisfied by balance transfers, you can each manage your debt separately and neither your final agreement nor the court will need to address any of the details of the joint debt.

 

 

 

Shared Custody

Summer often brings a new custody schedule to a separated family. Many custody orders provide for alternating weekly custody in the summer or even shift primary custody from one parent to the other. Working together to plan your children’s summer can help them adjust to the changes.

Sharing a calendar is the first step. In order to avoid the appearance that you are dictating a summer schedule to your co parent, be sure to share a calendar with a clear statement that it is a basis for discussion. Tell your co parent that you “think” or “feel” that certain summer weeks, holidays or days are your periods of custody and invite him or her to comment. Emphasize your openness to flexibility while explaining that planning now is a wise way to avoid future conflict. If you have a thirty day notice period in your custody order for your choice of vacation time, be sure to get that notice to your co parent before making a deposit on a vacation home or plan. If both mom and dad make a deposit in the same week without speaking to each other and then issue a 30 day notice, a clash is inevitable. Instead, as soon as you have chosen a week, call your co parent. He or she isn’t entitled to veto your choice. But if he or she has reasonable requests for your modifying your plans, you will have the ability to do so if you have not yet made a financial commitment.

Finally, be sure to involve your children in your planning. After consulting with your co parent about summer camps, vacations and summer custody, ask your children what they are looking forward to and what they would like to accomplish and enjoy this summer. Be willing to give them extra time with the other parent if that is important to them.

 

 

 

Emancipated Children

Children are considered “emancipated” and no longer entitled to child support once they are 18 years of age and graduated from high school. Every June, thousands of children on the Monroe County Domestic Relations Department’s caseload are emancipated. Nothing happens unless the parent who pays support asks for a change. And even then, not much happens unless you know what to ask for.

Most child support orders are “unallocated.” This means that the order calls for a flat amount of support— for example $800 biweekly, for three children. The order does not “allocate” or divide the support among the children. If your order is unallocated, it probably says nothing about allocation at all.

On the other hand, if your order is allocated, it probably says that the support is “allocated equally among (x number of) children.” Allocation is an important factor that will affect how the Domestic Relations Department treats the emancipation of a graduating child.

If you have a child who is 18 and graduating next month, write to Domestic Relations now and advise them of the graduation date. They will most likely send you a form Petition and will also probably send an inquiry to the custodial parent. Complete the Petition and send it back. You will receive a new support order which removes the graduating child. But you will probably very quickly notice that the new order is for the same amount of money—one less child but no change in the dollar amount owed. On unallocated orders the Domestic Relations office simply removes the emancipated child’s name but doesn’t change the amount of support. On allocated orders, they remove the child and his or her allocated “share” of the support.

Now it gets very tricky. First, the complex law—the Pennsylvania Support Guidelines don’t trigger equal shares of support for multiple children. The support for two children isn’t calculated equally at all–for example, the support obligation for the first child is often about twice the amount of the additional support owed for a second child. If you are receiving support, and your order is allocated, and one child is removed, cutting the order in half, you should request a conference and a recalculation. You are entitled to a certain amount of support for the remaining child or children in the home and it is quite possibly higher than what you are left with when one child’s allocated share is just cut off the existing order.

Second, the procedures are confusing. If either parent is unhappy with or confused by the new order, he or she needs to petition for a conference. You can write a letter asking for one but sometimes it is far more effective to get your lawyer involved to be sure a conference is properly scheduled and properly conducted.

If you know your co parent’s earnings for 2004 or 2005, we can run rough calculations of the support obligation to help you understand the correct impact of emancipation and what you should get from a conference.

But be sure to remember that graduation is an important achievement and is both a joyous and a confusing time for your child. Don’t let mis communication or conflict mar his or her graduation celebration. Notify Domestic Relations now of your request for a change, but keep the days and weeks around your child’s graduation free from any court appearances or open conflict. And take the time to congratulate both yourself and your co parent on your mutual success. Raising productive children of character is something of which you should be very proud.

 

 

 

Book Review

Many years ago I had the opportunity to hear Georgetown University linguistics Professor Deborah Tannen speak on her observations about how differently men and women speak. In her well known and highly readable book, You Just Don’t Understand, Tannen illuminates the gender based differences that define and distinguish male and female communication.

Convinced that ignoring our differences is downright dangerous, she asserts that for most women conversation is a way of connecting and negotiating. Thus, they tend to center on expressions of and responses to feelings, or what she labels "rapport talk" (private conversation). Men, on the other hand, tend to use conversation to achieve or maintain social status; they set out to impart knowledge (termed "report talk," or public speaking).

Tannen notes that men and women don’t always speak consistently with their gender’s style. And she doesn’t label either sex as using language skills that are good or bad, right or wrong. Instead she ably shows how both men and women speak both effectively and ineffectively. Her conclusion? The better we understand gender differences, the better able we are to bridge the communication gap between men and women, and especially between spouses. I’ve read and re read this book but still see that sometimes I just don’t understand.

If 25 clients are interested in purchasing the book, we can arrange for a group discount. Call Reiny and let her know if you are interested. We’ll advise you of the exact price (about $10) before collecting any money or placing the order.